We all know leaders who run away when it comes to handling conflicting viewpoints across their teams. When the stakes are high and the conflict is intense, they can’t get away fast enough. When there’s no escaping, they attempt to circumvent needed discussions with platitudes like these: Can’t we just agree to disagree? (Um, no. […]
Facilitating Safe Conversations When Viewpoints Collide Read More »
We were halfway through a two-day project kick-off meeting for a global IT team about to roll out a new mail and messaging system for the company’s 100K+ employees around the world. The execution had to be flawless. The pressure on this team was intense. Huddled around the conference room table were a dozen
Confronting Dysfunctional Behavior Without Completely Losing It Read More »
“Our meetings have gone off the rails. No one seems to know how to rein in the loudmouths or to get the quiet people talking. Pretty much everyone leaves our meetings feeling frustrated, mad and really deflated. We need help!” If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. I get emails and posts like this almost
Stop Letting Bad Behavior Derail Your Next Meeting Read More »
“Fine! Have it your way. Again. You always do.” “Hey, you had a chance to speak up, and you still haven’t told us why you oppose this proposal. We can’t read your mind.” “Has it occurred to you that I’m not the only one who thinks this is a bad idea? Maybe I’m the only one who’s willing to speak out.”
Confronting Conflict with Courage in Remote Teams Read More »
Admit it. You’ve done your share of commiserating about some perfectly awful meetings you’ve had to endure. In fact, you’ve been such a vocal critic of poorly-run meetings that your manager anoints you as the perfect person to facilitate a do-or-die budget planning session with your team, group VP, CFO and a few other high-level decision-makers. If
Overcome the Worst Facilitation Fears of Introverts (and Everyone Else) Read More »
If I ask you whether my presentation that I’ve labored over for weeks was any good, your slight nod after a long hesitation tells me that I pretty much bombed, despite your verbal assurance that “it was fine, really.” I really can’t tell if you are trying to spare my feelings or if you have
Bracing for Giving (and Getting) Difficult Feedback When You Can’t See Eye to Eye Read More »
No doubt, making go/no-go decisions for billion-dollar projects requires careful consideration, but this was getting ridiculous. Marc’s 20-person Engineering team, scattered across multiple time zones, was on the hot seat for recommending large-scale exploration projects for this European-based global oil and gas leader. For many of these projects, time was of the essence. This was
How Great Facilitation Leads to Better Decisions, More Revenue and Less Waste Read More »
This is one of a series of Field Spotlights where I share experiences, tips and observations from company leaders who are fully immersed in the transformation to hybrid. “In the last few years, we’ve acquired three other companies whose products complement ours. Throughout the pandemic, we’ve had to integrate certain operations without being able to
How a Growing Pharma Blends Asynch, Real-time Communications to Boost Productivity Read More »
“Let’s go around the room and have everyone share a fun fact.” You cringe as you wait your turn, wondering which fact you can use that: You have not already used the dozens of times someone has asked this same question Is intriguing but not intimate Is interesting but not shocking You’re just glad you
Create a Sense of Community with Questions That Connect Read More »
I came this close (holding thumb and index finger ¼” apart) to returning our pup, Honey, just three days after we adopted her from a shelter a year ago today. (And believe me, I am no novice when it comes to raising dogs from puppyhood. Honey is my fourth.) So why did I feel that adopting this little
Stop Agonizing Over Tough Decisions to Save Your Sanity (and Maybe Even Your Pup!) Read More »
Like many of you, I was gutted when I heard the news about the massacre at Robb Elementary School this week. My mind went completely numb. I had trouble putting one step in front of the other. I could find no words to convey my horror, anger and profound sadness. Despite the number of school
We Really, Really Need to Talk Read More »
“When the dust finally settles…” “As soon as we get back to normal…” When we hear comments like these from our wishful-thinking clients, we tell them that try as they might, there’s no going back. There’s no such thing as “normal” anymore (and we’re pretty sure there won’t ever be anything resembling a static workplace
When There’s No Going Back, Decide How to Move Forward Read More »
When Sue confessed to being anxious about the impending project deadline, her manager dismissed her concerns, assuring her that he just knew that Sue would find a way to pull through – she always did! John was still having a hard time putting one foot in front of another six months after a painful break-up.
11 Tips for Avoiding the Toxicity of Relentless Positivity Read More »
Kendra, the leader of a cross-functional team working on a highly visible and critical company project, imagined that things were going pretty well for her virtual team. People seemed to have few complaints or disagreements, and the work was getting done, but just barely. But about six months into the project, Kendra noticed that people
To get people really talking, try these scripts Read More »
“When I mentioned that I had to spend most of the weekend – again – working to meet these impossible project deadlines, my boss simply thanked me for my efforts and moved on. How could he not see how utterly depleted I feel? He’s never once asked if I’m okay.” “My manager asked me to
Active listening: Your influential superpower in a virtual world Read More »
Laura hasn’t gotten much sleep ever since she announced that all employees returning to the office next month must show proof of vaccination. A CEO of a mid-sized environmental engineering services firm, Laura had spent days vetting this decision with her corporate counsel, ensuring that such a mandate was legal. (It is, according to the
“Look, we need to let people know ASAP when and how we can expect to return to the office. Your team is already 10 days late giving us your recommendations. You’d better figure out why you haven’t been able to move forward. Have your proposed options on my desk by Monday. Drop everything else until
Healthy Conversations Can Bring Virtual Teams Back To Life Read More »
The meeting room stunk of burnt coffee, half-eaten sandwiches and too many bodies compressed into a small, windowless room for too many hours. People participating via video felt that for once, being physically removed from the action was actually a blessing. After two days of dithering, this group seemed no closer to making a decision
Why Can’t Everyone Just Agree? 8 Tips for Building Consensus Read More »
Storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have as leaders to shape understanding and connect with others in a profound way. The ability to craft and tell a good story can be learned, practiced and honed over time. It is also a skill that’s vastly underused, in part because it requires intention and
Waffles vs. Spaghetti – Connecting Through Stories Read More »
My daughter Kira recently lost a client due to a lack of principles. It’s not that she didn’t have principles, and nor was her client lacking principles. It’s that they had never agreed to principles up front on a vital issue. And therein lies the rub. Here’s her story: Kira recently caught a cold from a toddler
When Things Fall Apart, Principles Can Bring Them Back Together Read More »
A client who’s raved about my work for years has unceremoniously stopped answering my emails. A prospective client who has promised to move forward with my proposal has suddenly cut off all communication. A colleague I’ve known for years seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. Yup, I’ve been ghosted, and I’ll
Ghosting Can Come Back to Haunt You – Here’s Why, and How to Avoid It Read More »
Sharon dreaded her weekly 1:1 meetings with Jan, her manager, who worked two time zones away. Since these half-hour meetings were the only time they had a chance to touch base about pressing issues, Sharon had hoped that she would get much-needed guidance and answers to tough questions to move her work ahead. But the
How to Deliver Tough Feedback in Ways Your Boss Can Hear It Read More »
With a crazy deadline looming, the team could simply not afford another costly misstep. Scattered across seven timezones, team members knew that to nail the big deliverables, nothing could slip through the cracks, handoffs had to be seamless, and everyone had to be in perfect synch, 24×7. Given the time zone differences, team members couldn’t
Want to Accelerate Your Remote Team’s Project? Create a Communications Ecosystem! Read More »
Feedback of any kind rarely helps people perform better, no matter how much you dress it up and call it something pretty. In fact, telling people what they need to do differently, however well-intended, actually can block learning and prevent growth. As a result of reading the article The Feedback Fallacy in the March-April 2019 Harvard Business Review, I
How Feedback Can Stunt Growth, Stifle Learning and Encourage Mediocrity Read More »
You’re excited about the stunningly creative ideas your team has spawned ever since you’ve begun to include a brainstorming segment into every (virtual) team meeting. In fact, your team has generated about six months’ worth of great ideas just waiting to be implemented. And they’ll keep on waiting, and waiting and waiting — until you
Moving from Ideas to Action in a Virtual World Read More »
Most people I know who work remotely wouldn’t have it any other way. The commute is great, work hours are flexible, they have fewer interruptions and more privacy, they can listen to their own playlist music anytime they want, and the dress code is pretty lax, just to name a few reasons. But working remotely,
How to Win Friends and Influence People When You’re Invisible Read More »
Judging from the nodding heads, you see that a deep state of ennui has settled in around the table. (And this is just 15 minutes after break!) You have three hours left of this interminable day, with lots of ground still to cover. You know that the usual tedious process of asking everyone to take
For Insightful Conversations, Learn How to Ask Great Questions Read More »
It took many emails, phone calls and personal visits to establish my credibility with this group of senior managers who had gathered in our Hong Kong office for a carefully-orchestrated strategic planning meeting. But all of that changed in an instant with one inappropriate, poorly-timed joke by my manager who had insisted on kicking off
Wait! Was that Supposed to be Funny?! Depends! Read More »
Imagine you’re part of a group coming together to agree on a make-or-break decision. Which of these scenarios would you prefer: 1) After an amicable (and blessedly) brief conversation, everyone easily agrees to go along with the majority or 2) A heated debate ensues, with people from opposing viewpoints passionately arguing their respective positions? If
Can’t We All Just Disagree? Reviving the Lost Art of Civilized Disagreement Read More »
If anyone appreciates the value of asking really great questions, it’s a facilitator. After all, my job is to stimulate thought, encourage reflection, generate conversation, and help people make important connections. To do this, I need at least a few essential questions to insert into the conversation at just the right time. Crafting these “perfect”
Wait, What?! and 4 Other Essential Questions that Expand Thinking and Spark Conversation Read More »
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Nancy Settle-Murphy
Overcoming Time and Distance to Achieve Exceptional Results
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